Buttons on the Toilet Tank

March 19, 2020

There was only one bathroom in Grandma's and Grandpa's house.  In the bathroom, besides toilet paper, a bar of soap, towels and washcloth was a pump bottle of Jorgen's Lotion, Grandpa's shaving mug and brush.

The lotion sat on the toilet tank. From time to time I'd pump a drop in to my hands and spend the next eternity trying to rub it in to my hands.

One day, there as a white button about the size of a dime.  I put the button in my pocket.  It seemed like no big deal.

Later I pushed the lotion pump and it missed my hand and left a dime-sized drop on the tank.

I marveled how much it looked like the button I had taken earlier.  So, I just left it there.

Later I returned to the bathroom and where the lotion drop sat was another white button.  I immediately dug into my pocket to see if I still had that button.  I did.

"Nah," I thought to myself, "Buttons can't come from lotion."

But, being unsure I pocked the second button and ran off to play.  Returning later, seeing no button, I created another lotion drop, and off I went to play again.

I think it was the next morning I checked again.  Sure enough, there as another button.  Double checking my stash, I had my two, and this now made three.

Creating another drop of lotion, I went to play and I completely forgot about the entire experiment.  (I probably became pre-occupied with matches at that point.)

Years later, I was serving a mission.  It was early December, 1976, and I got a very bad case of food poisoning from a burger I bought at Target.  I was so sick things were coming out both ends of my body.

As I rushed to the bathroom, I dropped my drawers and went to unbutton the flap on my long undergarments and in my haste, a button dropped and I just picked it up and sat it behind me on the toilet tank.

When I went to flush the toilet, I saw that button. It was exactly like the buttons I collected off the back of the toilet at Grandma's and Grandpa's.  It was then it hit me that I was wearing the same style of underwear Grandpa used to wear.  It was at that moment I realized my little experiment must have coincided with Grandpa having a bout with diarrhea. 

I was old enough to realize by then it wasn't magical lotion, but for many years as a kid I wonder what was going on with the lotion drops and buttons.

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